Don’t mind me, I’m starting to become jaded.
It’s Friday and I’m high. If high means the anxious buzz you get from spending way too much time doomscrolling and consuming 3-minute reels of bad news, with a side of fact-checking because on top of a war, there’s also an AI takedown happening, and and…
Buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
My heart is heavy as I pack to leave for what is meant to be a holiday, but doesn’t feel like one. I feel guilty for all the times I whined about being homesick because I’m already homesick for this second home we have so painstakingly created, which I never imagined we’d want to get away from because it didn’t feel safe. The same unsafe feeling we have felt too many times in the past decade. From PPD to Pandemic to Easter Attacks to Economic Crisis to now this. Suddenly, I’m so glad I spent so much time resting and being unproductive, because my brain is once again scanning, scanning, scanning for potential threats, and it is TIRED.
Here’s what’s dawning on me, though—we are never truly safe. If it’s not a global crisis, it’s a personal problem, and on it goes. We need to find our inner peace amidst the chaos because there will always be chaos, and most times, it’s chaos that’s out of our control.
We need to. I need to.
Doesn’t mean I know how to.
What has given you peace amidst the chaos recently?
“I’m already homesick for this second home” – the way I felt this in my bones 😭💔
Worried about our future here, but hope for the best. Looking forward to our library meetups….soon 🤞🏽